What happens when wives want sex more often than their husbands? J Parker, author of “The Higher Desire Wife,” joins Brad and Kate to tackle this commonly misunderstood dynamic in Christian marriages.

Sexual desire ebbs and flows throughout marriage, with partners’ drives shifting multiple times over the years. J shares her personal journey of experiencing both sides of the desire spectrum in her own marriage, which ultimately led her to research and write about higher-desire wives. The conversation dives deep into the multitude of factors affecting male sexual desire – from stress and sleep deprivation to health issues and hormonal changes – revealing that a husband’s lower interest rarely means he isn’t attracted to his wife.

The discussion takes a compassionate approach to this sensitive topic, offering practical guidance for couples to address desire differences without blame. J emphasizes that sexual intimacy in marriage represents more than physical pleasure; it’s about connection, vulnerability, and expressing love. When those conversations feel difficult to initiate, sometimes alternative approaches like texting your spouse first can create space for honest dialogue.

The trio also explores how pornography and other sexual sin rewires the brain to view intimacy as consumption rather than participation, making genuine connection more challenging. For wives who find themselves wanting more intimacy, J suggests casting a positive vision rather than focusing on complaints: “I’d like for us to make love more and spice things up. Can we talk about what’s in the way?”

Whether you’re experiencing mismatched desire in your own marriage or simply want to understand the complex dynamics of sexual intimacy better, this episode offers practical wisdom and reassurance that you’re not alone. By approaching these challenges together with patience and understanding, couples can work toward closing the desire gap and creating more fulfilling intimacy.