When marriage gets tough, it’s tempting to wonder if you chose the wrong person. Brad and Kate Aldrich explore this common doubt, revealing why it’s rarely about your choice of spouse and almost always about deeper patterns playing out from your personal story.

“Wherever you go, there you are,” Brad reminds us, highlighting that we bring our relational patterns with us regardless of who we marry. The podcast dives into why we initially choose our partners—Kate was drawn to Brad’s depth and ability to have meaningful conversations, while Brad appreciated Kate’s spirited personality that complemented his more serious nature.

The conversation challenges popular beliefs about soulmates and compatibility. Rather than finding your “other half” or someone who “completes you,” healthy marriage is about two whole people joining their lives together. Dating websites may promise compatibility, but the Aldriches explain why no couple remains perfectly compatible as they grow and change over time.

One fascinating insight explores the contrast between dating behavior and marriage reality. During courtship, we focus intently on winning our partner, but once married, our attention often shifts to other priorities. Like children who excitedly adopt pets but lose enthusiasm for daily care, couples must learn to maintain intentional connection beyond the honeymoon phase.

For couples feeling disconnected or frustrated, the path forward isn’t wondering if you chose wrong—it’s understanding why you repeat certain patterns. The Aldriches emphasize that communication tools only create lasting change when coupled with deeper awareness of your story. When you understand why your spouse reacts as they do, compassion replaces criticism.

Through their work with countless couples, Brad and Kate have witnessed restoration even in severely damaged relationships. Your marriage can transform when you stop blaming your choice of partner and start exploring your stories together with curiosity and kindness.