Charting the Course Through Empty Nest Transitions and Beyond- Full Episode Transcript

Brad Aldrich: 

Let’s start the conversation. Hello everyone, and welcome to Still Becoming One.

Kate Aldrich: 

Yes, welcome.

Brad Aldrich: 

We’re glad to be here today and we are actively looking forward to our time away soon, yes, and spending some good quality time together on an anniversary trip. So, we’re looking forward to that and yeah, we’ve been busily doing all kinds of stuff.

Kate Aldrich: 

Yeah, we leave in less than 10 days.

Brad Aldrich: 

I know it’s amazing A week from tomorrow Yep, a week from tomorrow.

Kate Aldrich: 

Yep, a week from tomorrow. I’m so excited.

Brad Aldrich: 

No, it’s going to be great and we’re going to have a good time celebrating our 25th.

Kate Aldrich: 

Yes, a little early, because it’s just easier to do it when the kids are in school. Our anniversary is in June, so it’s going to be great.

Brad Aldrich: 

Yep, yeah, we’re Only a month early, that’s okay. Yeah, it works so fabulous. Well, we hope that you guys are enjoying this series that we’re doing on marriage and parenting.

Kate Aldrich: 

Parenting.

Brad Aldrich: 

And you know, really trying to think about how do you do marriage well through the years of parenting. Right, because it is something we see all the time of couples who have strained relationships in their marriage because they have put so much focus and energy and attention on these little kiddos that need all that energy and focus and attention, but it comes at a cost.

Kate Aldrich: 

Yeah, I mean they do need it, but, as we’ve said throughout this series, as they become more independent, you can have that little bit of focus more on you back.

Brad Aldrich: 

Right.

Kate Aldrich: 

And obviously as you add each child, you kind of have to go through that process again. But I think with intentionality it can be done fairly well. Not that there won’t be hiccups or hard parts, or sometimes you need someone to mediate, help you figure something out, like a mentor, counselor, but I think the heart of being intentional to do it well can really change a lot of things.

Brad Aldrich: 

Oh, so much so, and actually this stage that we’re talking about today, the young adult stage, is actually when we often are finding couples reaching out for help because, not because they need it exactly then, but because they lost their focus on their marriage sometime early on. And then they existed together for the next you know, 15, 20 years sure as good roommates and good co-parents. Mm-hmm. But then the kids start moving out. Mm-hmm, they start heading in other directions, right? Mm-hmm.

Brad Aldrich: 

And you kind of now have a little bit more time with your spouse and go. I don’t really know you.

Kate Aldrich: 

Well, you don’t have that buffer in between anymore, right? Those kids that literally like Right, give you a focus, give you all kinds of things to think about.

Brad Aldrich: 

So, yeah, and do and right, like we were talking about in the teenage years the one episode last week of just how busy kids are with activities that often take the parents to them too. So all of a sudden you’re not going three nights a week to a ball field, you’re not going to every dance practice or whatever, and all the different things that kids are doing, and now it’s you and your spouse and you go. Man, I don’t have any hobbies anymore.

Brad Aldrich: 

I often don’t have many friends anymore and people. I hear that from guys all the time. Okay. And people are like oh okay, now what? Right and a lot of them are actually kind of going. I’m not sure why we’re still together.

Kate Aldrich: 

Gotcha.

Brad Aldrich: 

Gotcha.

Kate Aldrich: 

I think the friends thing is different for women, so that’s probably why I chuckled a little bit. It is different. How women make friends and maintain friends, I think is very different. But I get what you’re saying. So much of your life has changed due to throwing your lives into your children, right?

Brad Aldrich: 

And I’ll tell you, it does change for guys because and I’ve heard this story so many times, I can, you know, repeat it back it’s yes, I had friends and we would get together with friends and that kind of stuff. And then we had kids and work, got busy, and so my main priority I tried to keep my family my main priority, but I was, you know, working 50 hours a week, whatever. But I was, you know, working 50 hours a week, whatever. And then, you know, I was home and I tried to focus on my kids and so I didn’t really do anything with my friends and that was my life work and home with my kids. And so then guys often go through, you know, those next 20 years, that’s it, and they don’t really build friendships.

Kate Aldrich: 

Yeah, I get that. I get that, I just think it is different. But yeah, I think this is a stage where both mourn and grieve the changes that are happening but also are like, yay, we’re kind of back to a little bit of like the beginning of our marriage. It’s very different.

Kate Aldrich: 

That’s why they call it empty nesting, because it is very different. But the freedoms that you had in the beginning. You’re getting some of that back and I think I don’t want it to sound like marriages who are looking forward to that are not going to miss their children and grieve the stage that has changed.

Brad Aldrich: 

No, we need to grieve that and I think having time to launch kids well is really important for you and your marriage. But we always have said, man we’ve said this several times, I think, over our episodes is like you should have a vision for the two of you together after the kids move out from the beginning, and that doesn’t mean you don’t love the time that you have with your kids.

Brad Aldrich: 

It doesn’t mean you don’t have a passion to see them do. Well, but holding on to that this is what mom and I are going to do when you’re gone is actually a really good thing and, honestly, this trip that we’re taking is an early piece of that. You know what We’ve been saying forever we’re going to do some traveling right, and they’re old enough that we can now.

Kate Aldrich: 

Yeah, yeah.

Brad Aldrich: 

And so we’re, you know, taking off and doing some traveling, because that’s part of our vision of us spending time together that we want to enjoy.

Kate Aldrich: 

Yeah, yeah. So I think there’s so many things that you can do to continue to nurture your marriage. You know things that we’ve talked about all the time on here to get you to this point where it is a good balance of grieving the things that are changing but also like excitement for the future.

Brad Aldrich: 

Yeah, absolutely. And, man, I think one of the things that you suggested that we do, I liked a lot.

Kate Aldrich: 

Yeah, I have good suggestions, I know you do.

Brad Aldrich: 

Kids can leave your house or launch in many different ways, right, and sometimes it’s slow launch. Sometimes it’s very direct, like okay, I’m off to college kind of launch. Or I’m off to a job or something like that, right? So there are differences here, yeah, absolutely.

Brad Aldrich: 

But one of the things that Kate suggested is our oldest. Our first two step out was going to college, and so we said you know what, we’re going to drop him off at college and we’re going to spend a couple of days just the two of us afterwards, and that was a really, really nice time to kind of transition into that empty nest stage for us.

Kate Aldrich: 

Well, it’s not empty nest. It is the start of it.

Brad Aldrich: 

When you launch the first kid, you are starting your empty nest phase.

Kate Aldrich: 

It certainly doesn’t feel empty when you still have at that point three at home. But I get what you’re saying.

Brad Aldrich: 

It’s starting it, but we took some time. We enjoyed ourselves we had some fun and I would highly recommend doing that as a marriage kind of bonus. If you get the chance to actually physically move your kid somewhere, do that right. I do talk to a lot of people who it’s like well, my kid is still here. Yeah, oh, yeah, yeah. They’re in their 20s and they’re still trying to figure it out, because it’s really hard out there to launch.

Kate Aldrich: 

Totally and there’s no judgment. Whatever your kids are choosing, but even if they graduate high school and they’re not, they don’t have next steps figured out, or next steps very much are staying in your home. It doesn’t mean you can’t do something to like sort of celebrate that we’ve we’ve helped to get this kiddo through to this stage. What could that look like, right? So I think, obviously, if you’re dropping a kid off at college for us the first one was a ways away, obviously, if you’re dropping a kid off at college, for us the first one was a ways away that was easy and that was something we figured out to do and it was kind of cool because it gave us time.

Kate Aldrich: 

I think sending the first one was very emotional, so it gave us time to actually process those emotions, just the two of us, without coming right back in and handling everything with the other three kiddos that were still at home. So that’s why I think it was really great. But I think you can think through and figure out. What does it look like? You get one graduates. What do you do that summer? That’s just a weekend or something, just the two of you. So it doesn’t, you know, it doesn’t have to be not available because your kids are making different choices. I think it can be very much thought through, no matter what.

Brad Aldrich: 

Right.

Kate Aldrich: 

Of just kind of celebrating, kind of entering into a different stage.

Brad Aldrich: 

Into a different stage. Right, and it should be right. Parenting during this stage is hard but fun, I think.

Kate Aldrich: 

I think it. Yeah, I mean we’ve taken an approach of more hands-off, so it’s very different.

Brad Aldrich: 

It is. I think it requires a lot of communication, which is sometimes difficult with older teen 20-somethings that often don’t communicate that well, you mean communication with them, right?

Kate Aldrich: 

Okay, yeah, because I was going to say I think it takes a lot of communication between us two of just like, okay, that happened. Should I be worried? Is that something we address? Is that something we say? Is that right? We bounce a lot off of each other so that we’re not just jumping in to spaces that we shouldn’t be because they are young adults, they are in college to make decisions on their own right for us.

Kate Aldrich: 

Our older two are in college, so that’s been our experience so far. I don’t I don’t know that that will be everybody in our homes experience, but and um, I think, I think there can also be a varied difference with college too, because sometimes parents.

Brad Aldrich: 

Oh yeah, they’re home in college yeah, true.

Kate Aldrich: 

I think some parents are helping out financially and so sometimes it feels like there is more need for Ownership, yeah, and like you’re spending my money on your education, so I want to Make sure we get it done in four years or something like that. Right Ownership, yeah, and like you’re spending my money on your education.

Brad Aldrich: 

So I want to Make sure Right Get it done in four years or something like that. Right Like yeah.

Kate Aldrich: 

Where I think someone who might choose to or need their kids to pay for their own college might give more. You know you’re paying for this, so you make the decisions, but I think, either way you go, there should be a release in a lot of areas.

Brad Aldrich: 

There does. Yeah, you need to allow your kids to start making more responsible decisions, for sure.

Kate Aldrich: 

Correct, correct, and I get. When you’re investing financially, maybe there are some limits to that. Or, if you want me to continue to pay, these are the things. If you want me to continue to pay, these are the things. But overall, it is a time where our kids should be making these decisions, and it’s going to be hard and there’s going to be times we don’t agree, but we want them to know that the relationship with them is always more important than the decisions that they’re making.

Brad Aldrich: 

And Correct.

Kate Aldrich: 

And you know and that includes we were even talking about like that includes that this is a time people are continuing relationships, getting into relationships, solidifying relationships, potentially getting married. Like this is this is a new phase for you as a parent, and I know, brad and I, not that we’ve done everything right, we’re just going to share how we’ve done it, like it is our heart to love whoever our kids love. So, whoever they’re dating, is our goal to get to know them in the way that they could be their potential spouse someday? Right, we don’t want to start getting to know them and and have them feel like we’re for them once they get engaged.

Kate Aldrich: 

No, we want, yeah, we want to build that relationship with them From the beginning even if we have reservations, because what good is it going to do if we don’t? It’s going to just build a chasm.

Brad Aldrich: 

It’s going to push them away.

Kate Aldrich: 

Well and so think about I mean, we’re going down this bunny trail, but imagine they marry them Like your child is always going to feel like you didn’t support it.

Brad Aldrich: 

Right.

Kate Aldrich: 

The person marrying into your family is going to feel like I didn’t really feel like your parents ever really liked me, yep, and so you’re just going to start that way, and I think that you and I experienced some of that in our dating. So I don’t want to go too far into that, but we just want to do that intentionally and differently.

Brad Aldrich: 

Yeah, no, I think that’s very true and this is an opportunity for you to honestly value marriage by your actions, not just your words. And hopefully that fits with actually all of the marriage and parenting series is you get to show your kids how to do marriage well. By doing marriage well, it goes much further than actually saying it them seeing it.

Brad Aldrich: 

And I will tell you, I have been a part of both sides now, in different families where a couple a young couple just starting out is getting married and one of their parents is getting divorced and that has massive consequences for that young couple.

Kate Aldrich: 

Yeah, it’s so hard to navigate.

Brad Aldrich: 

It is, For sure it is, and all of a sudden they’re like wait this thing that I thought was solid, this example that I’ve been following. Isn’t yeah that that I’ve been following, Isn’t yeah? That has problems, that has challenges and we’ve seen that in premarital couples that we’ve worked with. We’ve seen that in marital couples that have kids that they have to go and have some really hard conversations. And man, it’s just, it makes such an impact.

Kate Aldrich: 

I think it’s important too to remember this is the stage where our kids well, in teenage years too but like there’s going to be some natural space just based on no matter if they’re moving out or they’re getting a job, they’re staying at home and going to college. There’s natural space between these things because that’s a normal phase and what happens. But it’s time to remind yourself that it is always your job to pursue your children, because this is the part where we also meet with couples young married couples or even married couples in their 30s and there is tension because their parents expect things of them and that is actually the opposite of the way the relationship should work so say what you mean when, when parents expect things of of their Like you never call anymore, right, like you know, like.

Kate Aldrich: 

So parents are like saying to their kids you never call anymore and my whole thing that I challenge all the parents with and, if I’m completely honest, have had to challenge myself with because we have two in college. Right, we try to give them their space, but sometimes I’m like, oh, I haven’t talked to them in forever and there’s this opportunity for me to make a comment or manipulate and I have to remind myself no, it’s my job to pursue them, so you mean calling or sending a message going hey, I miss you, I haven’t talked to you in so long.

Kate Aldrich: 

And manipulation, and using the manipulative voice to go oh yeah, sorry, mom, I’ll call you right, right, I try more to do like hey, I just want to check in on you, how are you doing? How, how’s your workload going, because we do have two in college like, but I push back on myself. It’s not my kids job to pursue me and they should not feel that way. It’s my job, through the rest of their life, to continue to pursue them. And so I think this is just a really good point to remember that we sometimes, through our kids being home, have gotten some of our emotional needs met through them. Our kids being home have gotten some of our emotional needs met through them and, yes, that happens normally to some extent, but it’s very unbalanced, if you’re expecting your kids to meet your needs.

Kate Aldrich: 

Yes, right, that’s actually what’s supposed to happen in your marriage, or if you’re not married, then it’s supposed to happen with friends and community, where you would get those needs met.

Brad Aldrich: 

Correct, correct, and I think it’s super important to recognize our own pull towards that. Like we miss our kids, right, we want to have that relationship with them. It’s not saying that we can’t, it’s saying let’s not put the obligation on them oh. That’s about us.

Kate Aldrich: 

I didn’t mean you couldn’t miss them, right, that’s a given.

Brad Aldrich: 

Right.

Kate Aldrich: 

But it’s not your kiddo’s responsibility to pursue you.

Brad Aldrich: 

Yeah, and I think this becomes extra important when you become the in-laws.

Kate Aldrich: 

Tell me more. We’re not quite at that stage yet, right.

Brad Aldrich: 

No, we’re not.

Kate Aldrich: 

I can always learn.

Brad Aldrich: 

How many times have we worked with couples where an in-law family’s expectation has become a real challenge in the marriage Right Like so? This is how are you helping the next generation’s marriage Right as your kids are growing older and launching and getting married, how do you position yourself to actually allow them to leave Right? And look, we’ll be honest, we are not here yet, so we are looking for other experts in this as we go through it and seeing how to do it well, but we want to see our kids launch and leave well, right so that they can form strong bonds where their priority shifts, that their spouse becomes their first priority.

Kate Aldrich: 

Yeah, yeah, that’s huge. And I think, as in-laws, okay, now I know where you’re going with this. I wasn’t sure what you were about to say Guys, it’s always a surprise were going with us. I wasn’t sure what you were about to say Guys, it’s always a surprise. We very much want to be in-laws that are supportive. That again, you know. Seeking the relationship always.

Kate Aldrich: 

Yes, your kids and their spouse they’re going to marry a spouse that’s from a different family, so they’re going to potentially do things differently and Brad and I’s goal is to be very accepting of that. They’re also going to be a marriage that has conflict right, because every marriage does, and it’s also our goal to be and our good friend Tim Cunningham he always pushes this to be for their marriage, not for any one individual, which in most cases, tends to be your own child.

Brad Aldrich: 

That you feel like you need to defend, and I mean we’ve.

Kate Aldrich: 

We’ve gone through this with breakups. It’s different. I do honor that oh, it’s totally different right but you feel an injustice for your kids, right, right, right, and you’re like what you know and I can imagine that it’s something similar and maybe parents you can share, maybe it’s not, but when you feel like your son or daughter is having conflict with their spouse and you feel like your child is being misrepresented, Right. Right, but Brad and I always want to listen well but really push them towards the marriage being the goal.

Brad Aldrich: 

Yes, the priority Right, not just one side or the other. Correct. Correct, because if all we’re doing is supporting our son or daughter, not supporting the marriage, we’re actually pulling them apart, which?

Kate Aldrich: 

is not the goal Right. We’re actually kind of impacting and potentially making the situation worse.

Brad Aldrich: 

Yeah, exactly right. So I think that’s a critical thing that you learn long before of how do you take your complaints or frustrations about your new in-law or your new daughter-in-law or son-in-law to your spouse and hold them well so that they do not affect either your marriage or your relationship with that family.

Kate Aldrich: 

Right, so you’re saying process it with your spouse or your friends or your community, yep, and I think you used the key word in there. What did you say? Frustrations and something I don’t know. Use some other word we’re not talking about. Obviously, if you find one of your children is in an abusive situation, we are not talking about that. You need to help them get safety. We’re talking about normal things that happen in marriage.

Brad Aldrich: 

That are not to that caliber by any means.

Kate Aldrich: 

But yeah, I think that that’s really good. Bounce it off your spouse. Is this something we need to say, All of that kind of stuff, because we don’t want our kids to feel even another pressure.

Brad Aldrich: 

No, yeah, and this really does become massive issues. And if you think back to your beginning of your marriage, some of the biggest challenges that you had in figuring out your marriage were often figuring out the obligations and expectations of your parents. And now you’re in the driver’s seat, if you have kids who are launching and trying to figure out how to do that well with love and kindness, but letting go.

Kate Aldrich: 

Yeah, exactly.

Brad Aldrich: 

And this is the challenge, right, we are literally letting them go and we should be clinging to our spouse, and I think why this doesn’t happen well is because people don’t do that second part. They don’t cling to their spouse well, because the marriage hasn’t become a priority again or hasn’t been all along, and then they don’t want to let go of their child who is meeting that emotional?

Kate Aldrich: 

who’s meeting that emotionally? Yeah, exactly right I think also you need to be aware, brad, and I always come back to this, but it’s so important as your children are exploring relationships and reminding yourself that your story is going to come up.

Brad Aldrich: 

Yes, right, so true.

Kate Aldrich: 

And you need to be aware. So true, and I will be honest and I hope this isn’t saying too much, but I don’t think that it is Even as our children have explored dating, three of the four have like. There are times I’m trying to get to know who they’re dating because that’s really important to me and I feel my story come up right. And yet I have to remind myself these are teenagers and young adults like yeah you know, like they’re not.

Kate Aldrich: 

They’re not trying to hit into my story. My story is just present in every interaction that I have. Yep, and it’s really important to know that, because then I can quiet it and not have these reactions of like, well, I don’t think that person likes me, or well, they don’t seem like they want to talk or, first of all, they’re teenagers and they want to talk when you’re busy and can’t listen.

Kate Aldrich: 

And but the rest of the time they don’t want to talk. So anyways, like just remembering that you know when you feel tempted to be like oh, I’m not sure I like this person. Why is that? Let’s be kind and curious, and why is that coming up for you?

Brad Aldrich: 

Right, what’s in that story for you?

Kate Aldrich: 

Because it’s going to be so present.

Brad Aldrich: 

Yes, it’s really good. It’s really good, and I think it’s super important to keep remembering where our story integrates with your marriage or impacts your marriage and impacts your parenting, so that’s really good.

Kate Aldrich: 

And that’s exactly what’s happening when you have expectations for your child to pursue you. There is something coming out in your story, right, because every single one of us has wounds from our story and we want to be pursued. We want to be honored and delighted in every human. But that’s not the right order with your kids, right? And that’s the problem. In your relationship with your parents, there were times you didn’t feel pursued, and so our kids need us. So, in a way, that’s kind of pursuing us, and then they’re kind of stretching out, doing different things, and it feels like, oh, they don’t need me anymore.

Brad Aldrich: 

Right and I want to bring up this issue that I have heard from some parents that we are in a generation who is more aware of mental health than I think any have been in a long time. Which is a good thing, often launching and when they’re feeling the obligation for their parents, happiness. Their response sometimes is no and tell me and ends up cutting them off, right we’ve seen this place where parents have been cut off from their adult kids okay right. And then there’s this huge, vast, just absolute.

Brad Aldrich: 

Nope, I’m not going to talk to you, I’m not going to have any relationship with you, and parents are often confused of why that’s happening, and I’m not going to put all the blame on the parents here. I think this is both sides. There’s something that’s happening, but essentially the relationship did not mature along with the child maturing right, and they’re feeling some unhealth, obligation or something, and the only way that they knew how to deal with that is the cutoff. That’s not the healthiest form of boundary by any means, but they’re basically saying hey, we’re just going to cut you off.

Kate Aldrich: 

But I’m wondering. I’m curious when you say that I would want to ask the parents to see if they could identify the boundaries their child was trying to put up before the cutoff, because usually people don’t put up just a cutoff out of nowhere. They’ve been trying to get you to see the boundaries they need and you haven’t.

Brad Aldrich: 

Yes, exactly right, exactly right. And I think a lot of times the parents aren’t very happy with those boundaries. It’s hard.

Kate Aldrich: 

It’s hard. Happy with those boundaries. It’s hard. It’s hard. I’ll honor that. It’s hard when your kiddos are putting up a boundary.

Brad Aldrich: 

And I think the other factor that goes into this is what you’ve talked about before in the needs for past repair. Right, because kids, now adults, are working through their own trauma, their own wounds from the past and we are always very cautious to talk about. How do we both do honor and honesty with what parents have brought in that relationship. There are good things and there are negatives.

Brad Aldrich: 

There are good things and there are negatives, but I think many 20-somethings are getting to that point where they’re remembering and recognizing some of the trauma they went through and do not feel like their parents are acknowledging it or working on repair, and I think that’s a really important part of this stage of launching kids is being ready to repair and hold their hard, heavy emotions of what didn’t go well.

Kate Aldrich: 

Yeah, yeah, it’s hard. I mean we don’t say this with like, because our kids have done it, guys and it’s, it’s never easy, but at the same time it’s like, okay, they felt comfortable talking to me about that. It hurt, because I know I struggle in that area from my own story and we need to be able to hear them and we need to be able to. You know, if you don’t understand a boundary, it’s okay to say I’m willing to make that change. Could you help me understand where that the need for?

Brad Aldrich: 

that is coming from.

Kate Aldrich: 

Like it’s okay to ask, but not in an attacking way. Um, and I will tell you guys, like it’s, it’s just, it’s not easy. I don’t know, expect that. It’s not easy, but it’s a relationship changer.

Kate Aldrich: 

One of our kids recently said something to me and said Mom, I just don’t like it when you do that. And it immediately hit into my story, right, and I wanted to be defensive because, I’ll be honest, the sarcasm and snark they are, they are, they’re a lot inside of me at times. And it was something along those lines and I said okay, I will not say that again Inside of me. I was really like what? I’m just hilarious. Why wouldn’t you think that’s funny? Right, because these are the things, the strategies that I’ve used to get through life. And my kiddo was brave enough to say I don’t like that. And I was like I will work on that, I will, I will change that, you know, and it’s just so important. My snark and my story is not worth the relationship with my kiddo. It’s just not so. We need to be able to hear them, honor them, say I hear you, how can I do it differently? But it’s going to be hard it’s going to be super hard.

Brad Aldrich: 

It’s going to be super hard. That’s when you talk to your therapist or your spouse or your best friend about that was really hard. And I would personally just put this out there If you ever get to a place where your kid is saying you know, mom or dad, if X continues, I’m just going to have to you know, mom or dad, if X continues, I’m just going to have to, you know, not have any more communication with you.

Brad Aldrich: 

Because there often is that kind of I’m not going to say it’s nicely worded, but a somewhat of a like boundary put there that then parents keep crossing. If your kid says that that is a time immediately to start running towards a coach or a therapist who can help you figure your part of this out. I know you’re hurt. I know you’re angry.

Brad Aldrich: 

I know you want to push back about all the things they’re doing wrong and they probably are but that’s not going to help the situation. So you kind of then going okay, I need to go figure out some of my stuff so that I don’t lose this relationship with my kid. The problem with a cutoff is it’s frozen in time, so it doesn’t actually allow for change. So it would be much better to have a distant you know somewhat connected relationship than to have the cutoff. Yeah.

Brad Aldrich: 

Because that actually allows you over time to have some input into your kids’ lives that lets them see that you’ve grown. Yeah. That could restart a relationship. So just a tidbit there.

Kate Aldrich: 

Guys, we have lots of tidbits to offer.

Brad Aldrich: 

Well, and all of this is coming from people that we’ve worked with and just some of the hard things that they go through. I’ve seen so many parents recently that have kids who have cut them off, and I’ve been a part of a few young adults or even a little bit older adults who have gotten to that stage where they felt like they had no other choice but to cut off a parent, and I’ll say we don’t coach them to do that Again. It’s not a healthy boundary, but sometimes it’s the only one that feels safe. So it’s a hard that. Feels safe Absolutely.

Brad Aldrich: 

So it’s a hard thing to do.

Kate Aldrich: 

Absolutely.

Brad Aldrich: 

Well, that’s a lot. There’s a lot that we covered there in helping you launch your young adults well, we would love to hear from some of you who’ve done it what’s helped, what’s gone well. What fell apart, because some of you are further down this road than we are, and we would love to hear some of this, so reach out to us at any of our social media, on Instagram or Facebook, at stillbecomingone, and we would love to hear you. And yeah, we look forward to starting some new series coming up.

Brad Aldrich: 

We actually have some guests that we’re super excited about coming on in the next month or so here.

Brad Aldrich: 

Actually kind of across the summer we’re going to have like a concentration in the beginning of the summer, but then they’re going to, so yeah, we have some really fun announcements about Aldrich Ministries that are coming out soon Some really great stuff happening, so we’re thrilled to continue to be bringing you Still Becoming One. We hope you’re enjoying it. We would love to hear from some of you, if you can and it would be so helpful to the podcast if you could actually review us, whether it be on Apple Podcasts or Spotify, wherever you get your podcast Put in a review, it helps other people find the podcast and certainly helps us know that you’re enjoying what you’re hearing. So we would love that. All right, until next time on Still Becoming One. I’m Brad Aldrich.

Kate Aldrich: 

And I’m Kate Aldrich. Be kind and take care of each other.